"If" you were a parent, you'd understand

"I am SO sick of being pregnant/'fat'" ""What I'd give to be a size 8"  I can't wait to be able to drink/have wine again" I really didn't plan this one, but oh well"......
That is what expectant mothers say.

"I would give my ANYTHING to be pregnant, to be fat, to not drink, to sacrifice ANYTHING to feel my baby kick inside of me....to be a mom"

Growing up, as a lower/middle class child, I basically remember one of my first toys being a doll.  From a young age, I have wanted to be a mom.  That is something in my life that I cannot change.  I WANT to be a mom, as much as the air that I breathe, one way or another.  Currently I am a dental hygienist, though not a motherly job it still requires a lot of comforting, people skills.  Every day I am confronted with the questions that hurt me the most "So, do YOU have any kids?" and the old ladies are keen on this one "Well you better hurry! You can't have babies forever!"......NOT TO BE a bad person but fuck all y'all,

For those who don't really know what it's like for somebody like me, who basically it would be a miracle to get pregnant, this is a LIST of things not to do/say (cuz we have fucking tried it all)

1  " well, have you ever tried...." "you gotta read..." "you gotta take your temperature....".....

I realize that there is ony one thing above, and believe me.  I have TRIED it ALL.  Your 'expertise' although well-intended, does not apply to me or someone like me.  Your best bet?  Honestly, smile and nod, give support and not offer any sugestions.  All options have been investigated.  Adoption suggestions ARE good, since there ARE so many options and vary. 

There was a time in my life where I would not necessarily resent, but....envy?  When my friends/family were having babies right and left. I actually spent thousands of dollars and stuck needles in myself to do what "any"woman should be able to do naturally............but to no success.  NOW, I think I am a point of peace in my life.  When my friend calls and says 'I'm pregnant', I don't want to wallow in my sorrow, but rather I want to cry with happiness.  I want to go out and be 'cool aunt Rhonda' and celebrate.  I still don't get why the "Dugger's" in Arkansas can have 19 kids and I can't have even one, but that is God's plan.

What I do ask of my friends are:
adoption options

that's it.  Just so you know, private adoption is not an option;  It is literally thousands of dollars that we do not have.

A Letter To My Ovary

Dear Left Ovary,                                                                     August 27, 2010

     After much comtemplation I have decided to evict you from "MY" house.  For the past five years or so, you have become quite the disruptive (and not to mention, LOUSY and worthless) tenant.  I am fed up with you and your painful antics and so I absolutely cannot wait to kick your ass out for good.

     I actually thought that I would miss you.  After all, you were really pushing the envelope back in 2006, but I gave you a second chance.  No more, I tell you!  You can pack your shit up, get your 'cyst'er and all your roudy
endometre-ites, and get the hell out once and for good.  You guys will NOT be missed.  Maybe with YOU gone, your neighbor RO (right ovary) might be happier and more pleasant to be around.  One can only hope, after all the shit that I have endured to keep you around.  Screw you.

     And so, this is goodbye...adios...caio.  You have five days before forclosure is final.  Good riddence, and don't let the door hit you on your way out.


Love,
Rhonda